Teaser: The Hidden Cost of Being "Good With People"

People are often surprised when I tell them I'm a deeply introverted person.

They see me speaking in front of groups, facilitating workshops, volunteering, and confidently interacting with people—and assume I must be an extrovert.

But being good with people and being energized by people are not the same thing.

In next week's episode, we're exploring the hidden cost behind competence, the difference between social skill and social energy, and why some of us leave a room feeling energized while others need a nap.

We'll talk about introversion, extroversion, emotional bandwidth, invisible effort, and the compassion that comes from understanding that not everyone experiences connection the same way.

Full episode drops next Monday.

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🎶 Music: “Back Roads” by Will Harrison, via Epidemic Sound.

🛑 Disclaimer: Johanna is not a therapist, just a human sharing lived experience.
 ✨ “I’m just Johanna – a fellow human being on my journey through this thing called life, and your guide on this transformative journey.”

Transcript

Hey — missing me already?

If you’re catching an in-between week of the podcast, here’s a little taste of what I’ve got coming for you next Monday.

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This upcoming episode came about from someone saying something to me that I hear all the time.

That they were surprised when I told them I'm actually a deeply introverted person.

You see… people see me speak in front of groups of all sizes – sometimes huge rooms of them.

They’ve either attended, or heard me talk about, workshops I’ve facilitated.

They see me interact fairly competently and confidently in conversations at work.

And they assume that the person they are talking to is an extrovert. Someone who gains energy from being around people... Someone who feels recharged by interaction...

They actually couldn’t be more wrong… and that’s how the idea for The Hidden Cost of Being Good With People came about.

You see… what many people don’t understand is that being good with people is a skill – not a personality trait.

Being energized by people… That is wiring.

And they are definitely not the same thing.

So in the next episode, I’m going to be talking about the difference between being socially capable and being socially energized.

And why those aren't always the same thing.

And before you wander off thinking “Okay… this one’s not for me…”

This episode isn’t just an episode about introverts and extroverts. Or that I’m going to spend half an hour whining about how hard it is to be an introvert.

It’s not. It’s about something way bigger than that.

We're going to be talking about something I think a lot of people don't see.

The invisible cost that can exist behind competence. Because there is a difference between doing something well...

And doing it without a cost.

One of the things I've realized over the years is that people often mistake competence for effortlessness.

If someone looks comfortable doing something... We assume it comes naturally to them.

But sometimes what you're actually seeing is simply a person who's spent years learning how to show up.

And I think that's especially true for introverts.

Many of us have just become very good at not being recognized.

We've learned how to participate.

How to engage.

How to connect.

And because of that...

People don't necessarily see the cost.

I’ll share a little bit about how this shows up in my volunteer work with Threads of Life.

About speaking engagements.

About facilitating workshops.

And about everyday life.

Including why some of my favourite parts of presenting aren't actually the presentations themselves.

One of my favorite lines from the upcoming episode is this:

“Even while they are draining my battery... they are filling my heart.”

Because that's the complicated truth.

The interactions that exhaust us aren't always the interactions we dislike.

Sometimes they're the ones that matter the most.

I’ll share exactly why I actually love the long drives to and from a presentation - What I call my inhale and my exhale.

We'll also talk about why this isn't an introvert-versus-extrovert conversation.

It’s not about anything being wrong with being introvert – or wrong with being an extrovert.

And definitely not about introverts being victims.

It's about understanding that we all experience connection differently.

What fills one person's cup...

May empty someone else's.

And when we don't understand that...

We can accidentally misinterpret each other.

The conversation also got me thinking about how many people are carrying invisible costs that nobody else sees.

Teachers.

Speakers.

Authors.

Facilitators.

Volunteers.

Healthcare workers.

Anyone whose role requires them to hold space for other people.

And I also share something that introverts need to hear.

Sometimes the exhaustion isn't coming from the interaction itself.

Sometimes it's coming from the fact that we didn't leave when we needed to.

Sometimes we've ignored every warning light our nervous system was trying to show us...

And then we're surprised when we find ourselves completely depleted afterward.

So next week we're going to talk about:

• introversion and extroversion 
• social energy 
• emotional bandwidth 
• the hidden cost behind competence 
• why some people leave a room feeling energized and others need a nap 
• and how we can all maybe do a better job of understanding each other 

Because in the end...

This isn't really about introverts and extroverts.

It's about recognizing that we all move through the world differently.

And maybe being a little more compassionate about what we can't always see.

Full episode drops next Monday. And whether you’re an introvert, an extrovert, or somewhere in between…

It’s going to make you think twice before judging a book by it’s cover.

I’ll meet you there.

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