Transformative Journeys - to Growth and Resilience

The Benefits of Boredom (And Why We’ve Come to Fear It)

Johanna Season 1 Episode 44

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When was the last time you were actually bored… and didn’t immediately try to fix it?

Not distracted bored.
Not entertained in the background but bored.
Not scrolling your phone while you wait for your coffee bored.

Just… you and your thoughts.

In this episode of Transformative Journeys, Johanna dives into something most of us think we understand - boredom - and completely reframes it.

Because this isn’t really about boredom.

It’s about what happens to our brain when we never give it space to think.

After a very real (and slightly uncomfortable 😄) moment of realization in her shower, Johanna explores how modern habits - constant input, digital stimulation, and algorithm-driven content - are quietly reshaping how we think, feel, and process our lives.

You’ll learn:

  • Why boredom isn’t something to avoid - it’s something your brain actually needs 
  • What’s happening in your brain when you don’t give it quiet time 
  • How constant stimulation is impacting creativity, clarity, and emotional awareness 
  • The difference between active rest and passive numbing 
  • Why silence feels uncomfortable (and what that might actually mean) 
  • How dopamine-driven habits are keeping you stuck in shallow consumption 
  • Simple, realistic ways to reclaim space for deeper thinking 

This episode isn’t about cutting out technology or going off-grid.

It’s about noticing how often we’re filling every empty moment - and what we might discover if we didn’t.

Because boredom?

It might just be the doorway to your most important insights.


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🎶 Music: “Back Roads” by Will Harrison, via Epidemic Sound.


🛑 Disclaimer: Johanna is not a therapist, just a human sharing lived experience.
 ✨ “I’m just Johanna – a fellow human being on my journey through this thing called life, and your guide on this transformative journey.”

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I'm gonna ask a question that's gonna be hard for some of you.

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And by hard, I mean squirm- in-your- seat, oh- shit- she's- talking- about- me, I haven't really paid attention hard. Why do I know that?

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Because I ran into a really hard wall of realization myself recently that kind of scared the shit out of me to be perfectly honest.

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When's the last time you were bored? And didn't immediately try to fill that puppy with something - literally anything - to soothe the discomfort of it.

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And we're gonna leave "I have a boring job" out of this because that's not the kind of board I'm talking about.

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I'm talking actually bored.

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Not waiting 30 seconds for your coffee while scrolling scrolling your phone board.

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I mean no noise, no input, no distraction, no throwing something on in the background.

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Just you and your thoughts.

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Yeah, that kind of bored.

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Because here's that more than mildly uncomfortable truth I ran into. I don't think we just hate boredom now. I think we've conditioned ourselves to fear it.

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That particular realization hit me while I was standing in my shower with a podcast playing in the background. Because apparently I can't even sit alone with my own thoughts long enough to wash my hair without inviting someone else into my head to keep me company.

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That was a full- stop, Oh- my- god, hand- on- the- wall, what is wrong with me, and oh shit, when did this happen moment for me.

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And the more I thought about it, the more it really started to bother me. When and how did I get to this place where I need to keep myself constantly entertained? What the hell was I avoiding?

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And here's the part that might make you squirm. What are you avoiding when you're avoiding the silence?

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Let's dig into that.

Podcast Introduction

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Life doesn't give us a map for healing. And growth? Yeah, it's messy, uncomfortable, and not for the faint of heart.

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I'm Johanna LeRoux, and this is Transformative Journeys - a podcast about resilience, self-discovery, and learning how to rebuild something meaningful after everything changes.

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We talk neuroscience, real life, unlearning, and all the messy stuff in between.

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New episodes drop every other Monday, and there's bonus content on YouTube if you want more in the meantime.

Back to the Episode

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Welcome back to Transformative Journeys with Johanna. I'm your host, and sometimes the best episode ideas happen when you suddenly realize something f*cked up in your own life, where you find yourself saying, "Oh shit, how did I get here?", and figure there might just be other people out there just as messed up as you are.

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Because that intro, that wasn't just words spilled onto paper to talk about today. It was a truth bomb. My truth bomb.

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It didn't come about from me finding some cool or interesting thing in a book or in a study. It literally came from me standing in my own shower going, "Oh shit, when did I suddenly stop being able to be alone with my own thoughts?"

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Talk about feeling naked, literally and figuratively.

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So when was the last time you were the kind of bored I talked about in the intro?

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It's alright, I'll wait.

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Yeah, I thought so.

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And if it feels like I'm calling you out, the cold hard truth is that I'm calling myself out - in public - because the more I've been thinking about it, the more disturbed I've become by the thought that I have been drowning out every quiet moment. The kinds of moments where I used to have some of my most interesting internal conversations, thought-provoking insights, and even sorted through some uncomfortable truths.

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When did I smother that with noise? Often algorithm-fed noise that has hijacked my life with shallow consumption for little hits of dopamine.

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So I did what I love to do. I did some digging after that water logged epiphany, (after I'd dried off and put clothes on, of course), because that's what I love to do when I discover an uncomfortable truth about myself. I want to excavate the shit out of it.

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And I uncovered some things that have completely jarred me out of my cozy little dopamine-filled cocoon.

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So I want to back up first of all for one second because before we go any further, I want to make it clear that this episode isn't going to be about boredom.

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This is about what happens to our brains when we never give it time and space to think. Because the problem is not just that we're distracted. It's that so many of us are losing our ability to sit alone and naked in that space where the really good juicy thinking happens.

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And my friends, this isn't just about a few harmless habits we've picked up. Think about it. We are actively training our brains out of the habit of giving our minds the time and space for deep thought.

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Somewhere along the way, I went from "damn I'm bored" to not being able to tolerate two minutes of silence without reaching for some noise. Without even noticing it was happening. That's scary.

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Silence - fill the space.

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Waiting in line - check my phone.

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Driving - audiobook.

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Walking - podcast.

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Cooking or doing dishes - pick your poison: audiobook, podcast, YouTube, music.

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Shower - apparently that needs to be a full multimedia experience for me now.

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And what I'm learning is that this kind of behavior isn't neutral. It's actually impacting the way our brain works because there's a hidden aspect of boredom and that empty space that is absolutely essential for our brain.

A Bit of Brain Science

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So let's dive into a bit of my favorite thing for a minute. And you had to know this was coming, right?

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Boredom triggers something in our brains called our default mode network, which is a bit like a background processing system. It takes all the stuff that's going on in our lives, all our thoughts, ideas, our complex problems, and it connects and consolidates them. It plays through scenarios, it applies what it's learned so far in life and sorts out how all that stuff could be used in the future.

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Its switch is flipped on when we're not actively focused on something. So all those times when I was sitting on my back deck with nothing but the birds and my thoughts for company, staring out of the window, daydreaming, walking through the park without any earbuds, (or let's face it, I'm almost 60 - without a cell phone), or rare of rare joy when my kids were young, a few moments of absolutely doing nothing, I was making my brain happy- happy by giving it the quiet time that it needs to process emotions, consolidate memories, figure out problems, and just generally create meaning from my experiences and figure out life. Who knew?

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Plenty of people way smarter than me who have invented stuff, made important discoveries, or figured out some of that weird quantum physics shit, said that they had their brainstorms hit them while they were doing nothing. Walking... staring into space... in the bathtub...

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Turns out our best ideas don't always happen when we're wired in and focused. Often they happen when we finally give our brain a breather from input.

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In a kind of interesting study done at the psychology department at Harvard, they did these experiments where people had to sit in a room for 15 minutes with instructions to do absolutely nothing. And there was literally nothing in the room to do except a button in front of them that they could push. If they pushed the button, they gave themselves a painful shock. So they had the choice sit there for 15 minutes bored or get a shock. And get this... Apparently, a big majority of the participants gave themselves shocks instead of thinking about nothing.

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Are you going like, "Wait... what???" I did.

Why We're Addicted to Filling the Space

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So let's talk a bit about why we're so friggin' addicted to filling the space because an important part of human development and the healthy functioning of our brains is figuring out how to overcome boredom in healthy ways.

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Before we had radios and TVs and cell phones, adults read... they told stories... they made things... they built things... Children went outside and created enchanted worlds built out of a stick and an overhanging willow tree.

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And the less opportunity we give ourselves to experience boredom, the less equipped our brain becomes to overcome it in ways that actually help our brains to grow. Because that default network is kind of mildly uncomfortable. But it's in those slightly uncomfortable moments that our brain starts connecting those ideas, building new neural pathways and wandering into thoughts and ideas that can sometimes be hard to wrap our heads around. And it's super important to continually strengthen the parts of our brains that support our creativity, our problem solving, our emotional processing.

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These aren't just nice to have going on up there in the attic. They are literally part of what keeps our brains healthy, flexible, and adaptable. Boredom is actually not something we should be avoiding. It's the key that unlocks the door to the spaces and experiences that help our brains to grow.

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And at the root, this is not a self-control problem. There's some biology involved here. Remember, I talked earlier about that algorithm-fed noise and the hits of dopamine, and our brains just love that shit? Dopamine is like a favorite flavor of candy to our brains, and it will seek it out relentlessly and punish you if it's used to getting it constantly and you cut it off.

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Digital content is engineered to deliver that candy. It gives us quick hits, constant novelty, just enough reward to keep us hooked. And that's how we get stuck in that doom scroll through Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, or whatever. And I'll be honest, even podcast platforms, although I want to argue here that they aren't quite as toxic in the way that the algorithms and ads are fed out to us.

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But all of those platforms are designed with algorithms that feed us pretty much the perfect combination of novelty and predictability to keep our brains hooked and make it really difficult for us to look away. Our brains learn really quickly. "Nom nom... candy... let's keep this going."

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And you know what? I used to lie to myself and say I was looking for content ideas, or seeing what my friends were up to, or just tired and wanted to do something where I didn't have to think.

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Uh-uh. My brain was way ahead of me. It was absorbing all of the 20 algorithm-fed garbage posts, the negative content, the ads telling me how to be smarter, better, thinner, that I got before I ever got to a real post from a real friend. And feeding my brain a roller coaster of dopamine and cortisol. Then I'd realize I just whiled away two hours of useless stimulation. And our brain will choose an easy hit of dopamine over the slower, deeper, and more meaningful activity of thinking every time. Unless we interrupt that pattern. Another

Another Theory...

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interesting thing I read is that some theorists believe that this discomfort with boredom thing that happens in our brains was part of how we evolved as a species in order to survive. To go do something useful, like discover new food sources, or go hunting, or gather wood for the fires at night, make tools, build shelters, or just generally do something that helped prepare for times when, say, the food ran out, a storm hit, or snow came, or a rival tribe was coming to take what was ours.

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So the ones that didn't do those things, they're not your ancestors because they didn't survive to make little baby cave- people to pass on their genes.

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In a way, our brains still crave new information to help us make essential decisions about food, shelter, our social circle, a mate, and what could potentially become a threat to us, and sort of retain that compulsion for novelty, even though it now has zero to do with actual survival. And I thought that theory really made sense.

Some of the Consequences

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And you want to know something else that's scary. As we adapt and normalize this new way of getting new experiences and stimulation, our brains compel us to seek consistently higher and higher amounts of dopamine. And psychologists are becoming more and more concerned about the damage to our mental well-being and the increase in social isolation, anxiety, stress, and depression that's becoming more and more prevalent associated with our increasing dependence on digital content for our stimulation.

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Not to mention how it affects us with reduced creativity, less discernment about the content we're consuming, less critical thinking around whether content is accurate or curated to feed our confirmation biases, loss of self-reflection, and just emotional avoidance.

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Because if you never sit in silence, you never hear or pay attention to what your life is trying to teach you. We've kind of becoming people who know a lot but rarely sit long enough to understand what any of it means.

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And boredom is not wasted time. It's time for our brain to process our life experiences. That old me, the one who used to love sitting outside on my back deck, no phone, no earbuds, just the birds and the squirrels, and my brain wandering out in the nowhere doing its own thing. I became the person who listens to a podcast in the shower. Let me say that again... In. The. Shower. I wasn't just avoiding being bored or keeping myself entertained. I - had or have... let's put it in the present tense - I have been systematically eliminating every opportunity for my brain to be alone and just wander. And the naked truth of realizing it in the shower that day didn't just hit me with a "Wait... what?" It sort of caused a a seismic shift.

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You see, for the most part I consider myself pretty self-aware. I've done quite a bit of internal work on developing, you know, my emotional awareness, learning what tools work for for me when I get triggered, usually remembering to use them to help me calm my nervous system when I need to, and generally building my resilience over the years. I regularly use things like mindfulness, (which I've explained before, is not emptying your mind. It's focusing it). I have a worry stone with me almost all the time. Working on breath work or, you know, learning ways to anchor myself and bring my thoughts back to the present instead of spiraling into emotional and mental chaos. But I had almost completely stopped inviting silence into my space.

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And every time we fill a quiet moment with some kind of noise, we're choosing stimulation, the last thing a lot of us need, over self awareness. Because silence feels uncomfortable. Not because silence is a bad thing, because sometimes it forces us to hear things that we've been avoiding... things we don't want to think... the feelings we don't want to feel... the questions that we don't want to ask ourselves - or maybe answer. We are afraid to hear the things we think.

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And it's a whole lot easier to open up an app or turn on the TV than it is to sit with that discomfort.

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Let me throw this out there for you to think about.

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We don't have a boredom problem anymore.

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We have all the tools at our literal fingertips to get information, ingest data, entertain ourselves, or just numb out. We don't need more input and information. Most of us are running on a nearly constant stream of that. And we're confusing stimulation with valuable substantive material that actually feeds our brains, anyways.

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Our brains are a cheap date. If you're constantly feeding it fast food, that's all it's going to come to expect. And worse than that, over time, it starts to prefer it. Those easy, fast, low effort hits of stimulation...? Thinking starts to feel harder - even more uncomfortable. Silence starts to feel unbearable to sit in. We don't need more fast food for our brains. What we need is to give ourselves the space to digest the important stuff we feed it when we're actually living our lives.

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Because the cost of eliminating boredom is that we also eliminate those things I talked about earlier. Creativity, creative problem solving, the pursuit of meaningful new activities, self-reflection and curiosity, cognitive flexibility, and reducing the constant stimulation that can lead to mental overload and stress. In other words, boredom isn't just plain a good thing. In fact, it's necessary.

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And research on boredom by Aaron Westgate and Timothy Wilson suggests that it serves as a useful signal that prompts us to shift our focus or our activity. Like pain, it's not pleasant, but it's important information about our lives. It's not bad. It's how we respond to the signals that matters.

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So what the hell now?

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Let's dig into that next.

Mid-roll and Free Resources

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Yes, this is the interruption that every podcaster does right in the middle of the juicy stuff.

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But wait a second, please don't hit that skip 15 seconds button. (I saw you reach for it).

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Anyway, not to bore you, but if you're getting something out of this episode, I think you probably also know someone else who would. So go ahead and share it with them. It costs you nothing, and neither do the tools I've created to support you. There's a link in the show notes to all of my resources. Bounce Back Blueprint, the Self-care Guide, the new Stress Whisperer Toolkit. Resources you can use in real life.

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Free for you - huge deal for me.

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Or you can just, you know, keep listening. That works too.

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All right, let's get back to it. The

"Il Dolce Far Niente"

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Italians have a phrase "Il dolce far niente". I think that's how it's pronounced, which means roughly "the sweetness of doing nothing". It can mean anything from having a cup of coffee or tea with a friend to sitting on the beach watching the water, to sitting idly on a park bench watching people go by. They take the concept of embracing boredom a step further with the philosophy of letting go of doing all the time and allowing yourself to just be.

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And I think this is where we, 'across- the- pond', as they say, particularly, have gotten a bit confused about the concept of doing nothing. We've become a little muddled about the difference between active rest and passive numbing. We tell ourselves "I'm resting" when what we're often doing is numbing.

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Want some ideas of what active rest really looks like? We're talking walking with no input, sitting quietly, staring into space, letting your mind wander, even journaling.

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Passive numbing, on the other hand, looks like endless scrolling, binge watching, constant background noise.

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Rest isn't the absence of actual activity, it's the absence of constant input. Two completely different things.

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And don't worry here, I am not gonna tell you you need to throw your phone away or lock your TV rib remote in the freezer and go live in a yurt in Mongolia. (Yes, if you've been listening for a while, I do have a thing about yurts. They're adorable, usually found somewhere remote and peaceful. And the word itself is just f*cking adorable).

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Anyways, we're stuck in the real world with real life struggles, real life stress, and real life dopamine cravings. So how about if we just start to gently shift the way we view silence, doing nothing, and boredom in small, realistic ways that fit into real life, that aren't going to send our nervous system into convulsions, and will help us begin to overcome the uncomfortable feelings associated with boredom. What

Learning to Embrace Boredom

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if we actually started to embrace boredom? Just in baby steps. You know me, I am all about those baby steps, especially when it comes to working on implementing change.

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I'm starting small. For me, that often looks like:

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A shower without audio in the room - not every time, maybe, you know, once or twice a week.

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A short drive in my truck with no background noise - no audio book, no podcast, no music, just the sound of my truck.

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Taking my morning walk at work without my earbuds in.

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Standing in line at the store without pulling out my phone.

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Stepping out onto my back deck for five minutes to do nothing but listen to the birds and the squirrels.

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And I'll be honest - that first shower, that first drive to the store three minutes away without any sound but my pickup truck engine, that first walk on my break, but without my earbuds, nothing but my thoughts to keep me company? Uncomfortable. Like mild angst, uncomfortable. Yes, even oh- my- god- this- is- boring, uncomfortable. And nothing's wrong with that. I'm just not used to sitting alone with my thoughts anymore.

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Just because silence feels uncomfortable doesn't mean there's something wrong. Maybe it's even that something important wants some time to breathe.

A Few More Ideas

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Here's a few other things I've been working on trying to implement:

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Intentional, well-timed sips of digital content. Instead of automatically, I'm not doing anything, let's get lost on Facebook for an hour consumption. (Although I have a confession here to make, on the anniversary of Prince's death, I totally went down an algorithm-fed rabbit hole of scrolling while I felt all the feels about, you know, sadness about it. And and try not to laugh at me, because yes, I am a Prince fan, or "fam", as he used to call them, because he hated that fan is short for fanatic. I'm not a huge fan. I never saw him in concert... I don't own every album he ever put out... but I do love his music... There's your little dose of trivia about me for today.)

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We can choose when we engage with content. And in a way, that's actually what I did that day or that evening. I worked all day, I got things done, but I was feeling a bit of background sadness, I guess, through kind of knowing what day it was. I totally knew that once I started, I would end up down that rabbit hole. So I set aside all thoughts of getting anything done that evening, and I just scrolled a bit through Facebook for posts about it, and then I watched some YouTube videos about his life, and you know, even a few of his, you know, cheesy old music videos, too.

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Because the goal doesn't have to be eliminating all of your digital consumption, it's controlling it instead of letting it control you and creating space in your life around it.

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Or how about trying something new when boredom creeps in? Find a new hobby or engage in the ones you already have. Get outdoors. Not only is nature therapeutic, it also promotes creative thinking.

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Embrace curiosity about your thoughts with kindness and self-compassion.

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And alongside of your do- list, create a to-be list... to deep breathe... and do a few minutes of nothing in between appointments... to walk around the block and clear your head... to watch the grass grow or observe the stars... or if it makes you feel better, empty your thoughts into the universe in a prayer or contemplation.

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And allow time for reminiscing. I get it. Sometimes reminiscing brings to the surface memories we thought best left in the past. But didn't we learn something from those events? Maybe focus on exploring that aspect of them.

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When we stop filling every quiet moment in our lives, something interesting starts to happen. We start building the capacity in to notice, and the patience to look at, what's actually going on inside of us.

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Which is the bridge to where something called emotional intelligence begins.

Reflection/Journaling Prompts

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So here are some reflection prompts to take with you this week. Go ahead and journal them out or use them to fill in the boredom on that next walk without your earbuds in or drive without your audio in the background. As always, be kind and self-compassionate with yourself. You don't necessarily need to tackle them all at once either. Just pick one or two that make you pause a little.

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When was the last time I experienced boredom - without immediately reaching for something to fill it?

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What thoughts or feelings tend to surface when I'm in silence?

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If I gave myself space to just sit and think, what am I a little afraid that might show up?

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And what's one moment I'm willing not to fill tomorrow?

Closing

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This week we talked about boredom, but not such a boring topic after all. How boredom isn't just wasted time, it's absolutely essential for our brains. It can be time that helps us reset our internal compass, sort out complex problems, and that helps our brain recalibrate after sorting through all of the information that it absorbs every day.

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When we start allowing some of those quiet, not actually empty moments back into our lives, something really cool can start to happen. We start noticing things, not just our thoughts, but why and how we react to things. Patterns that repeat themselves in our lives, which also gives us the opportunity to sort through and decide which ones we like and which ones we might want to change.

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And we don't have to turn any of that into self-judgment. They're our thoughts. So we have the power to turn them into opportunities for reflection and maybe even catalysts for change. As

Wrap Up

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we wrap up, I want to leave you with this.

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We need to stop being afraid of boredom. It's normal and now you know important. Try not to dismiss, eliminate, or even dislike it.

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Instead, maybe begin viewing it at as what it really is: an opportunity to allow our brains to take the reins and think creatively, entertain itself, and improve our resilience.

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And do you want to know one of the best insights I've had when I started allowing myself to sit with my own thoughts again? This one straight from my journal to you.

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"Here's what I'm learning. .. I can call myself out all day.

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I'm just not using it to beat myself up anymore.

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I'm using it to do better.

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Thank you so much for being here with me today. I would love it if you would pop over and say hi to me on Instagram at transformativejourneys.joanna or come on over to my website, say hi there.

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I do have an enhanced version of this podcast on YouTube with on-screen prompts, beautiful visuals, and just a more immersive experience. So you can head over to my YouTube channel, Transformative Journeys, and check it out there.

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And if you have an idea you'd like to hear me talk about, leave me a message. You might just see it in a future episode.

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And last, you do know that hitting the subscribe button, tapping the bell, likes, all of those things helps my show get noticed by others. So I hope you'll make this deal with me. You tap it, and I will keep dropping the best of what's in my heart and my slightly sarcastic soul so that we can keep learning together.

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Until next time, this is Johanna reminding you - that it doesn't matter if you fall... what matters is how well you bounce.

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This is Transformative Journeys.

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See you next time. Your support helps me keep creating free tools and honest conversations. Because let's be real, even when you love what you're doing, sometimes it takes a whole lot of metaphorical duct tape to hold it all together. If you'd like to toss a little love into the Duct Tape Fund, you can now support the podcast at buymeacoffee.com. I'll put a link in the show notes.

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Hey, just a disclaimer, this podcast is for entertainment and informational purposes only and should not replace the advice of a medical or mental health expert. I'm not a licensed counselor or therapist, just a human with a mic and a story of growth and resilience. No degree, no fancy letters after my name. I'm a full-time student at the School of Hard Knox, University of Life, where I figure I'll graduate when I take my last breath. In other words, I'm just Joanna, a fellow human being on my journey through this thing called life, and your guide on this transformative journey.